So today in sch wasn't that great either, he didn't really have the mood to talk to me earlier in the morning. So we barely talked. Luckily we met aft his cca, and I guess things are okay after that.. But there are some issues I know that'll bring him down. But i'll be there for him. Sometimes I wonder if he would be there for me. Actually he kinda has been. But it's gonna be O levels next year and I know we can barely spend time with each other. Because relationship takes up time... So sometimes I wonder if he would just sacrifice a little... Okay haha so selfish right.... sigh..
Im kinda tired... Knowing that me being happy is just for a really short while and boom; im not happy anymore. I wonder if things would get better in the future. Like we'll manage this relationship better and do well in our studies. I think we're both aiming for that but I guess it's kinda hard. No harm trying though? (:
Im just pretty worried bout him now. I care so much lolol. Then get hurt so easily.... I guess im too sensitive. Sometimes I wish he would understand though.. But I guesss im not really gonna say anything.. Sigh haha. I hope that things will go back to the way it is before...
Thinking back, we were so much happier last time.. Until we first quarreled.. And it doesn't end. Le sigh. When we quarrel we just blurt out words in anger. And sometimes those words really hurt me.. bad. I know some indirect tweets are referring to me too although he say it isn't.. But haha its really obvious.
I tend to question myself alot sometimes. Questioning others is really a big trouble. Like how I annoy mingshu. But woah you would never know how many things go through my mind. And all those things always confuse me. And when him and I quarrel.. I tend to go crazy. Just me in my world of crazy thoughts. And I would need someone. I always wished it was him.. To end up ending the quarrel and comforting me instead but haha no that will never happen. Yuck.. I feel so dependent.
Truthfully I think i'm not really a good girlfriend.. Marcus would agree with me on that.. So clingy, insecure, paranoid and yeah more words to come. I don't know what am I even blogging actually. Just things that come up to my mind and I just type it down. I wish I was a better person. More accepted.
Bye