Basically anon (on my askfm) if you're reading this then yeap this is pretty much 1/1000000 of my weird random thoughts whenever I'm alone/night time. And just before I say anything I need to emphasise that my purpose of blogging is just to keep track of any great thing that happened, or little things that made me smile.
So to whoever reading this post right now please don't judge me, I mean I can't help if you're going to but yeah these thoughts are basically how I feel most of the time and it takes me a lot of courage to type this out.
Whenever I look at my friends' Ask.fm(plenty of them) and just wonder, "wow how do they even get so many anons talking to them woahh" but part of the reason why people took an interest and asked them questions was because they were good looking, pretty and everything. Yeah. And tbh I never considered myself as "pretty" especially now that I'm in poly everyone is just so freaking good-looking like wow what even?! SO YEAH THAT MADE ME FEEL EVEN WORSE IN POLY but what to do HAHAH. At least I think slightly positive and not call myself "ugly" or whatever... If not I would've already had depression. But I definitely still feel insecure most of the time now. So when someone says I'm pretty or whatever I'm just thinking to myself like "are you kidding me what do you see in me"
But for the first time in my life someone is so thoughtful to tell me to "stay pretty" (wondering what does he/she see in me again- sometimes I wonder if its just.. words. See? I just get so.. insecure.) and encourage me to press on and not get stressed up. Although that person might just be some random anon coming by my ask.fm telling me that he/she looks out for me, feels just so new to me hahaha. And the reason why I treasure this anon so much is because such people are so hard to find, and you never know when this person will leave you either. For sure I wouldn't know who's gonna stay in my life and who's gonna leave anytime, all the more I should actually treasure such people.
And speaking about leaving, you can't help it if someone's leaving your life. I think some cases are pretty natural when communication just stops and there's a whole load of distance between both parties. Makes me even more cautious of getting attached to someone. By attached it can be referred as "getting into a relationship" and being "emotionally attached" But to explain this I'm referring to being "emotionally attached" haha. And for a soft-hearted person like me I DO get attached to things easily. But I'm thankful that I kinda remind myself to not get attached to something for that person/thing might leave one day.
Okay back to the topic of treasuring people, I'm really glad that someone so nice came by, even he/she might stay only for a short while(who knows). It amazes me how much someone I might not even know well take time to talk to me at night despite having exams the next day, and even being overseas. I guess that person brought up the good purpose of Ask.fm. Other than all the hate, it's nice knowing you can talk to someone without having a first impression on that anon. I don't know how to explain this, but it's like talking to their true self? Well at least someone is showing their nice side :)
“Some people are brought into your life to be mirrors, to show you behaviors and habits that need to change.” -Mandy Hale
Alright really tired now, still gotta mug for MAEC later gahhh, I feel so lost in MAEC. Im not sure what I do know and what I don't ahahha IM SO SCREWED :') And sorry anon you told me to take care of myself, I actually got into a bad cold and sneezed my ass off during my BMGT paper. Glad that I'm better now even though I'm just down with cough. Goodnight :)